Official Statement on Belief

Disclaimer: I do not believe in absolutes.

Photo: Graveyard outside Holy Trinity Church, home of William Shakespeare's grave. Stratford-upon-Avon, England.

I am not a satanist or an athiest. Why does perception tend to trump actions? If in this time we're being told that appearance is never what it seems why am I judged by my mask or a shirt with an inverted cross?

I was never a satanist or an atheist. If asked my penchant for religiosity I answer agnostic, sometimes. I still think I am agnostic but it is increasingly more difficult for me to say "I don't know if there is a god." I think I most confidently can say that I am an animist. I think I just refuse to describe what I feel as god as god. I know what I feel. Certain energy charges through me. It isn't god, or maybe it is. Maybe I should accept that I don't know and will never know with certainty. I'm not the type to walk with that type of faith. I'm not going to lend my soul to the universe being uncertain of the qualities of who or what I'm lending my most valuable asset to. God as it has been propagated to the masses does not have very good credit in my valuation.

Photo: The United Reformed Church, Stratford-upon-Avon, England

I was never a satanist, and not because I grew up in the church. When we were children my grandma (rest in peace) used to take my brothers and me to church with her sometimes on Tuesdays, many Wednesdays, and a whole lot of Sundays. I didn't mind church that much because I loved being around my cousins and I especially loved being able to spend time at my grandma and grandpa's house after service. I've always had some inclination, I always just knew that what we were being sold in many different churches (my grandma never had a static church home) we should have boycotted. 

I didn't realize then that the preacher was simply explaining the depiction of Blacks in European and those of European descent's art. The preacher was describing the nature of the Black person in Western Promotion and Marketing.  The depictions of Blacks in Western art inform what is generally believed by most non-Black populations (and some Black populations) about Black people and our general nature. Our nature is thought to be inescapable moral drudgery. Three Black people in a company of one hundred are thought to be exceptional revelations because of the nugatory thoughts about Black society.

The feelings of others (in my opinion antipathy is the most prevalent feeling) makes me necessarily reject the beliefs of the faiths tied to the Abrahamic religions. If the White man is god (as is their propaganda) then yes I am the devil (I am aware that the depiction of Satan or a prime Opposer to god has evolved since the Abrahamic religious texts were written), here to tear down all you've built because goodness is tyranny. For if god's characteristics are inherent in the European, if what they believe and accomplished is ordained by god, if god has ordered society according to the European, it isn't greed and control of resources, if it's god; then necessarily I must agree with the other side, I must be in agreement with whomever god's perpetual opponent is. Even still, I was never a satanist and never will be.

Black people, especially Black men are devils. And that has been prevalent in all aspects of European thought and society. I am going to use William Shakespeare to illustrate what the European thinks about people that could be classified as Black (in general, not absolutely and I understand that Shakespeare is from England and what he wrote may not be indicative of what he thought about "Black" people or what any citizen of any other European nation thought about "Black" people but please don't make me relate the colonialist and imperialist history of the European, or the history of "race" wars all over Europe). The character of Aaron from Titus Andronicus is representative of the "Black men are naturally devils" thinking.

Lucius, the son of the play's namesake, tells Aaron, a Black Moor who was integral in the title's plot, says to his Uncle Marcus;

Lucius

  Good uncle, take you in this barbarous Moor,

  This ravenous tiger, this accursed devil.

  Let him receive no sust'nance, fetter him (Act 5, Scene 3, Lines 4-6)1

The Black Moor responds using two typical character tropes commonly used when depicting black people, particularly black males, in western art/media; that they are possessed by the devil and that they are remorseless when committing crimes or doing wrong. Aaron responds by embracing Lucius' condemnation;

Aaron

  Some devil whisper curses in my ear

  And prompt me, that my tongue may utter forth

  The venomous malice of my swelling heart. (Act 5, Scene 3, Lines 11-13)2

Maybe human emotion after finding out that someone has orchestrated the horrible fortune (including the rape and maiming of his sister) that befell your family is to attack the principle racially, but Aaron is not just viewed as a devil by his enemies, also by his allies.

When Aaron is known to have fathered Queen Tamora's child, the Nurse describes the child and its necessary disposal;

Nurse

  A joyless, dismal, black, and sorrowful issue.

  Here is the babe, as loathsome as a toad

  Amongst the fair-faced breeders of our clime.

  The Empress sends it thee, thy stamp, thy seal,

  And bids thee christen it with thy dagger's point (Act 4, Scene 1, Lines 66-70)3

The Nurse could be in shock because of this surprising revelation but her condemnation is deeply rooted in the baby's race and skin color. The skin color of the baby is not just visible evidence of the Queen infidelity, it is the Queen's ultimate disgrace because she had an affair with a dismal, Black Moor.

Demetrius, one of Queen Tamora's sons, who listened to Aaron's suggestion that he, along with his brother, rape and maim Titus' daughter, responds to the revelation that the same man fathered his half brother;

Demetrius

  And therein, hellish dog, thou hast undone her.

  Woe to her chance, and damned her loathed choice,

  Accursed the offspring of so foul a fiend. (Act 4, Scene 1, Lines 76-78)4

Again, imagery and terms alluding to the devil and demons from allies, people who have allowed him in their company, associate his deeds explicitly to the Moor's blackness. His deeds are not just characteristics of a morally flawed character, a loon, or antisocial personality. Aaron's actions enforce the thoughts and preconceived notions the European has about the African.

I would also like to mention similar thoughts about the Black Moor in Shakespeare's The Tragedy of Othello the Moor of Venice. After Iago tells Brabanzio, Desdemona's father and a high ranking official in the government of Venice, about the secret relationship between his daughter and Othello, Barbanzio says;

Barbanzio

  Ay, to me.

  She is abused, stol'n from me, and corrupted

  By spells and medicines bought of mountebanks.

  For nature so preposterously to err,

  Being not deficient, blind, or lame of sense,

  Sans witchcraft could not. (Act 1, Scene 3, Lines 59-64)5

Desdemona must be under some sort of black voodoo magical spell for her to consider an intimate relationship with the Black Moor Othello. 

Photo: Cross of Sacrifice, Garden of Remembrance. Stratford-upon-Avon, England. 

If black is the devil then white is god. This dichotomy is forced onto black people. We are Black because they are White. We are the devil because they are god. I did not just think about how Blacks are portrayed in art, I also thought about how the European portrays themselves, the deification of their history and its impactful figures. People who are responsible for creating the European dominated world (by committing crimes against humanity) and people that were (are) great at continuing to perpetuate the violently established European dominated world, their actions are not godly. The deification of European culture, historical figures, and people is dependent upon the condemnation of African Culture, historical figures, and people.

I do not want to argue if Black people are the true gods or not, if our nature is inherently godly. I do not want to ponder, can we begin to analyze our general nature in our current condition? I embrace the image of devil as god's antithesis because god was naturally corrupt and any depiction of us created by a corrupt god cannot be trusted. So the depiction of Satan or the devil is corrupted. Satan or the devil or the personification or characterization of evil, was also created by god. And I believe that only a stronger evil force can create an evil as classically devious as Satan or other characters meant to portray the traits of a naturally sinister or devilish character.  

Black people will never shake the label of demon in a white supremacist system. If god's characteristics are inherent in the European, if what they believe and all of their ill gotten gains have been ordained by any being or ideal other than vicious, sociopathic, irrationally violent greed monster then I must agree with the enemy of that god. Black people are demons, we are devils, for if the white person are angels then we are the complete opposite of that or definition means nothing. I have never been able to accept their propaganda that all they have achieved is attached to some superior or supreme cause or guide. 

Photo: Holy Trinity Church, Stratford-upon-Avon, England.

Mistakenly, we've been devils and demons trying to prove ourselves godly. Especially considering that they're gods and angels who have only proven themselves malicious. Trying to prove to them that god's nature is peace and love and that is also our nature, when their god is wrathful and merciless, is ineffectual because it is absurd. God has no static nature that is why humans don't have one. Nature or a common nature or behavior is all statistical aberration. Maybe if we embrace the belief of the malignant side of the dichotomy, the diversion and perversion that has only proven most beneficial to them we will nurture some sort of absolution for Black people. Instead of trying to prove we are gods, we necessarily must become demons and devils. Black folks must embrace what white supremacy thinks because we are white supremacy's perpetual opponent. Black folks cannot prove we are god because we are not European. We must embrace that we are white supremacy's eternal enemy and that what god has built, the actions performed in the name of god, by the want and will of god, the nature of god, cannot be accredited.

The ships of colonialism and the aircrafts of imperialism are directed by a broken moral compass. Admittedly, I am not very careful in this exploration. I thought I could tour the dark world they created and not succumb to those thoughts and actions that darkness tempts to the surface of behavior. Why did I think I could explore a darkness they created without being possessed by it? The negative energy I could not discern. In what is said to be positive I could always find the fault, and now that I only want to conjure that positive energy I understand why my exploration faltered. Although, we as black folks are the necessary antithesis to white supremacy, I didn't understand that the negative energy of their god, is nothing compared to what they placed on and in their devil, the Black person. The evil capabilities of the European are more than evident in history, but their motivations are incalculable, what they are willing to do as god or in honor of their god does not know any reservations. 

I believe we are powerful enough to harness the energy directed at our community and redirect that energy in damaging ways at white supremacy and its institutions. For what they sold themselves, the rest of the world, and us about blackness is unsubstantiated. 

I'm trying to find where this god energy or even this concept comes from? Does it exist from a source that isn't corrupted? Maybe it's impossible to make any declaration about an energy that cannot not be described because it necessarily has no description. Maybe I'm trying to find this god energy in myself (another corrupt source). I know what I feel inside, there are energies greater than a simple positive or negative revelation battling each other for control over my thoughts which can inform my actions.

Photo: Graveyard at Holy Trinity Church, Stratford-upon-Avon, England.

My official statement on belief is that I believe in myself and my newly acquired and ever changing ability to control that energy. To allow what I believe to ensure that I only perform actions beneficial to myself, which undoubtedly will be most beneficial to my family. I believe there is no outside absolution. I'll concede that in this discovery of belief I find myself ruminating like Hamlet, unable to make not only the most laborious and burdensome decisions but also the most mundane and clinical. But I also believe in my power to muster the energy to make a valuable and informed decision hastily that will not sacrifice or invalidate my belief systems.

I'm aware that this can be seen as vague or maybe in this drawn-out way I'm validating other belief systems, I think I am. I meditate and engage in certain ritualistic practices. I pray on my knees to all possibility and into infinity cubed. I am ancient energy transferred according to the First Law of Thermodynamics attempting to find nature in myself through my past selves for my future selves to feed (reincarnation anyone?). 

I am not a satanist because I cannot and do not believe in that characterization. I do not believe that god could or would blatantly lie, deceive, and destroy then cowardly pretend that it's in honor of righteousness. I believe in some alternate universe the bible is Harry Potter and Harry Potter is the bible and the Torah is Goosebumps, and the Koran is Red Wall. Religion and their books are based upon morals told through characters in stories and faith makes them real. I believe that the energies that those books are attempting to describe are real, just not sure who to attribute them to.

1-5 Excerpts from The Oxford University Press William Shakespeare The Complete Works published in 1991, Titus Andronicus and The Tragedy of Othello the Moor of Venice.