Vindication!
I've been vindicated! I was pulled over in Beverly Hills the other day. It was crazy because it was for no reason! I was on my way to work at the Myspace offices in Beverly Hills. I've been there before but I've never been there coming off the 405 so I got lost and I made a U-turn on a residential street off Santa Monica Boulevard.
The Piggies didn't see the U-turn but I saw them. I knew they were going to follow me. So I pass them up and sure enough they make a right turn and pull up right behind me. I'm lost and have no clue where I am so I make a left turn down Rodeo and sure enough the bacon boys make a left turn as well. They turn on their lights and pull me over.
Long story short they ask me if I have anything on my record they should worry about. I ask back "Do I look like I should have something on my record you should worry about?" The piggy stutters and says "Just asking." If I was in a fucking Ashton Martin and not a Chevy Lumina that question wouldn't have been asked. In fact I probably wouldn't have been pulled over. He also asked me why I was turning out of a residential street. They saw me make the turn but didn't see the U-turn. Oh those Porky Pig punks. Fuck 'em! They're lucky I don't dine on swine otherwise I would have fried their pork chop asses. But I've been vindicated! I paid 500 dollars in parking tickets a little less than a month ago and have been regretting it ever since. Being pulled over was vindication for paying those parking tickets because if I didn't pay those parking tickets my car would be in the impound right now.
500 dollars to the city of Los Angeles. For nothing! That's robbery! 500 dollars for parking during street cleaning when the street is always dirty as fuck! They don't clean shit. My block smells like piss and furniture is everywhere. People can fucking just sit on couches and lay on beds on the sidewalk because furniture is everywhere. Shit's fucking ridiculous. But fuck it. I paid them. It's a weight off the shoulders.
I need to shy away from platitudes like "A weight off my shoulders." My English teacher tried to get us to shy away from those in our writing. I will. I found some pictures of me and friends in high school. Shit is hella funny! Those were the days. I can't believe I'm going to be 23 this year. That's not old at all but I still can't believe it.
Here are some of those flicks. I'm in tears as we speak looking at these pics. Aha! I miss my hair!
The Piggies didn't see the U-turn but I saw them. I knew they were going to follow me. So I pass them up and sure enough they make a right turn and pull up right behind me. I'm lost and have no clue where I am so I make a left turn down Rodeo and sure enough the bacon boys make a left turn as well. They turn on their lights and pull me over.
Long story short they ask me if I have anything on my record they should worry about. I ask back "Do I look like I should have something on my record you should worry about?" The piggy stutters and says "Just asking." If I was in a fucking Ashton Martin and not a Chevy Lumina that question wouldn't have been asked. In fact I probably wouldn't have been pulled over. He also asked me why I was turning out of a residential street. They saw me make the turn but didn't see the U-turn. Oh those Porky Pig punks. Fuck 'em! They're lucky I don't dine on swine otherwise I would have fried their pork chop asses. But I've been vindicated! I paid 500 dollars in parking tickets a little less than a month ago and have been regretting it ever since. Being pulled over was vindication for paying those parking tickets because if I didn't pay those parking tickets my car would be in the impound right now.
500 dollars to the city of Los Angeles. For nothing! That's robbery! 500 dollars for parking during street cleaning when the street is always dirty as fuck! They don't clean shit. My block smells like piss and furniture is everywhere. People can fucking just sit on couches and lay on beds on the sidewalk because furniture is everywhere. Shit's fucking ridiculous. But fuck it. I paid them. It's a weight off the shoulders.
I need to shy away from platitudes like "A weight off my shoulders." My English teacher tried to get us to shy away from those in our writing. I will. I found some pictures of me and friends in high school. Shit is hella funny! Those were the days. I can't believe I'm going to be 23 this year. That's not old at all but I still can't believe it.
Here are some of those flicks. I'm in tears as we speak looking at these pics. Aha! I miss my hair!
LOL where did you find these classics?
ReplyDeletethey were on a disc i have with hella old files from high school and shit. hella funny!
ReplyDelete