Responsible
It's been a long time coming....
Damn this seems new to me. Has the medium changed? I wonder if people are blogging differently? I haven't done this in a few months. First time in 2009 in fact.
Today I left the house without a hat. This is the longest I've been without a hat on my head without being asleep. My head feels free. It's an interesting world out there for your head without a hat.
Summer is a few months away and I'm excited......and I have no clue why. I am the greatest pessimist alive so don't mind the loathing; but I figure I'm going to spend my summer working at a job I hate, going to school, and not enjoying the sun like I would have in summers past. A victory for responsibility. YAY! Maybe I should just succumb to the idea, that most likely, I'm going to be doing something I don't want to do for the rest of my life. There has to be some sort of transit between what I want to do and have to do. I guess I don't have to do anything.
Summers for adults have always been like this. My mom or my friend's parents never seemed to have had a summer break. I guess I feel entitled to a summer break because I'm still in school. Breaks should be encouraged and mandatory. I'd put the dollar and some change in my pocket on a more productive workforce if you forced them to take breaks. Not forced 15 minute breaks because of labor laws but extended breaks, no vacation days and all that shit. Week long breaks. Just a much needed break from the barrage of bull shit we're pretty much forced to do for survival or be doomed to transience and the dregs of existence.
Well I'm one more sick day away from being unemployed. I was both relieved and kind of depressed. It would have been nice to have no responsibility for a second but just as I begun to imagine my relief the pile of bills on my desk seemed visibly larger. It's always there. It seems pointless to run from it like running from God (if you believe in that shit) or it's like trying to live without breathing. Life comes with responsibility I guess.....
What's the responsibility? Family, friends, jobs, marriage, kids, work? It's all self imposed. No one I know likes paying bills but seems to enjoy this system of Capitalism which is self imposed. In my understanding of it. We all suborn it's existence but complain our asses off when we have to pay rent or a water bill. I believe that the 8 hours or so we give to "responsibility" is damaging and breeds sadness and depression especially since it goes against our will. Well my will at least, and what's life without responsibility? A life I would love to experience.
Its hard for me to accept the life I'm living not because I'm scared of responsibility it's because I'm helping others do what they want to do while they force me to do what I have to....once again unless I want to end up homeless or a criminal (however you want to define that). That's why I'm in school.
Back to my responsibilities.
Damn this seems new to me. Has the medium changed? I wonder if people are blogging differently? I haven't done this in a few months. First time in 2009 in fact.
Today I left the house without a hat. This is the longest I've been without a hat on my head without being asleep. My head feels free. It's an interesting world out there for your head without a hat.
Summer is a few months away and I'm excited......and I have no clue why. I am the greatest pessimist alive so don't mind the loathing; but I figure I'm going to spend my summer working at a job I hate, going to school, and not enjoying the sun like I would have in summers past. A victory for responsibility. YAY! Maybe I should just succumb to the idea, that most likely, I'm going to be doing something I don't want to do for the rest of my life. There has to be some sort of transit between what I want to do and have to do. I guess I don't have to do anything.
Summers for adults have always been like this. My mom or my friend's parents never seemed to have had a summer break. I guess I feel entitled to a summer break because I'm still in school. Breaks should be encouraged and mandatory. I'd put the dollar and some change in my pocket on a more productive workforce if you forced them to take breaks. Not forced 15 minute breaks because of labor laws but extended breaks, no vacation days and all that shit. Week long breaks. Just a much needed break from the barrage of bull shit we're pretty much forced to do for survival or be doomed to transience and the dregs of existence.
Well I'm one more sick day away from being unemployed. I was both relieved and kind of depressed. It would have been nice to have no responsibility for a second but just as I begun to imagine my relief the pile of bills on my desk seemed visibly larger. It's always there. It seems pointless to run from it like running from God (if you believe in that shit) or it's like trying to live without breathing. Life comes with responsibility I guess.....
What's the responsibility? Family, friends, jobs, marriage, kids, work? It's all self imposed. No one I know likes paying bills but seems to enjoy this system of Capitalism which is self imposed. In my understanding of it. We all suborn it's existence but complain our asses off when we have to pay rent or a water bill. I believe that the 8 hours or so we give to "responsibility" is damaging and breeds sadness and depression especially since it goes against our will. Well my will at least, and what's life without responsibility? A life I would love to experience.
Its hard for me to accept the life I'm living not because I'm scared of responsibility it's because I'm helping others do what they want to do while they force me to do what I have to....once again unless I want to end up homeless or a criminal (however you want to define that). That's why I'm in school.
Back to my responsibilities.
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