number one and number two

Good evening America, I have some disturbing news; Tim Tebow was drafted number 25 in the NFL draft today. Exactly 24 picks after the number one pick, Sam Bradford. In other news 400,000,000 people died when a comet hit the the center of the Atlantic Ocean and caused a Moses splitting the Red Sea type of fucking reaction and swallowed the Eastern seaboard of the United States of America and all of Western Europe. Amazingly Africa, the Carribean, and South America were untouched. BUT MAN TEBOW AT 25!! THAT'S FUCKING AMAZING!!! This is some ass hole reporting.

The NFL is insanely powerful. I know it's only the first round of the NBA playoffs but the number one (KOBE) and number two (lebron) basketball players in the world lost tonight, in great games, and Tim Tebow getting drafted at NUMBER 25 is the cover story. If Sam Bradford getting drafted at NUMBER ONE (!!!!!) was the cover story I wouldn't give a fuck. But a player getting drafted 25 is the greatest story in the history of everything.

This song is dope though: