You Think This Is How I Should Live My Life and Isolation

You Think This Is How I Should Live My Life

So this is how I should live my life
Go to work come home and go to sleep
Do not stay up hours writing shit no one is going to read?
Especially you
You want me to hide how unsupportive you are
But I will not anymore
You hate that I'm a writer and I'm compelled to do something
Without being paid for it
Give up! Rely upon being a wage slave to feed my family
That's what you want
Hopefully, my wage will be passed along to our son
For your comfort I should sleep next to you at night
I shouldn't continue to work and write and write and write
I know it is futile
You know it is too that's why you want me to stop
You do not want me to create or express myself
I should just work a perfect job with perfect hours
Hours that fit our schedule
I should just do that
And not write at all
I need to give up on writing and let it go
I need to give up on expression and let it go
Well I'm not
I'll kill myself before I do
I will not live my life like you want me to

Isolation

I was alone for most of Thanksgiving Day, cooking
I was alone for most of Christmas Eve
I was alone for most of Christmas Day
I was alone for New Year's Eve
I was alone for New Year's Day
Holidays are made up days
So there isn't any necessity to be around family
But I was alone
I'm still alone
I don't want to be here